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You only ask people about themselves so you can tell them about yourself.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
People
Asks
Tell

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I tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil
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With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
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I hate how I don't feel real enough unless people are watching.
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The cancer I don't have is everywhere now.
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Not everything is about money. You didn't even say, hello. You are not your sad little wallet.
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Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.
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Because after you've crossed some lines, you just keep crossing them. And there's no escaping from constant escape. Distracting ourselves. Avoiding confrontation. Getting past the moment. Jacking off. Television. Denial.
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Really, just looking around, you feel a twinge of pity for the poor souls who succeeded in getting past the Pearly Gates. One can't help but picture the lackluster VIP lounge in Heaven, a kind of nonalcoholic ice-cream social starring Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mahatma Gandhi. Hardly anyone's idea of a with-it social register.
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I have to have everything in my life completely fixed and perfect and cleaned up and I have to be complete with everyone in my life and I have seven days in which to do that. So I might make it to day three or four, but I've never made it all the way to day seven.
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I am Joe's Enraged, Inflamed, sense of rejection.
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At first, the new owner pretends he never looked at the living room floor.
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Doesn't reincarnation strike you as just another form of procrastination?
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I am the child of a lunatic. Not a child of God.
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If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how would you live? Knowing nothing 'real' was at risk, what would you do? You'd live a gigantic, bold, fun, dazzling life. You know you would. That's what the ghosts want us to do - all the exciting things they no longer can.
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Katherine Kenton remains among the generation of women who feel that the most sincere form of flattery is the male erection.
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You think maybe if you just work harder and faster, you can hold off the chaos, but then one day you’re changing a patio light bulb with a five-year life span and you realize how you’ll only be changing this light maybe ten more times before you’ll be dead.
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Only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. In death we become heroes.
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By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.
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If you look at old pictures, Irene Casey is so pretty. Not just young, but pretty the way you look when your face goes smooth, the skin around your eyes and lips relaxed, the pretty you only look when you love the person taking the picture.
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You’re training a new employee,' says Mrs. Clark, 'to take over your boring old job.' When you raise a child.
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