Quote

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

Chuck Palahniuk

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Toilet
Toilets
Pet
Maybe
Literature
Humans
Flushed
Alligators
Adorable

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

Image
There's an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It's when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.... I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
The old rule about how a thing of beauty is a joy forever, in my experience, even the most beauteous thing is only a joy for about three hours, tops. After that, she'll want to tell you all about her childhood traumas. Part of meeting these jail girls is it's so sweet to look at your watch and know she'll be behind bars in half an hour.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
What's burning down is a re-creation of a period revival house patterned after a copy of a copy of a copy of a mock Tudor big manor house. It's a hundred generations removed from anything original, but the truth is aren't we all?
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
I can manage my own pain. I can drink. I can go to the doctor and get a prescription. I can exercise. I can write a story about it. I've done it a million times! But I don't want to see the people I love tortured and suffering.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen. I've found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that's usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
I haven't shoplifted since I was 13.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
No matter what else you came up against, if you could smile and laugh while a monkey did you with chestnuts in a dank concrete basement while somebody took pictures, well, any other situation would be a piece of cake
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
Carl Jung called this his shadow work. He said we never see others. Instead we see only aspects of ourselves that fall over them. Shadows. Projections. Our associations.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
The joke is, we all have the same punchline.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
I tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangibles, ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
The future you have, tomorrow, won't be the same future you had, yesterday.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or awareness is going to occur that's much brighter coming from this dark, awful beginning.
Chuck Palahniuk
Image
Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I'm so smart I can negate any dream.
Chuck Palahniuk