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We are often wrong about the past, but at least with the past you can change your thinking. We can't do that with the future.
Chuck Klosterman
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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Wrong
Future
Often
Past
Change
Thinking
Least
More quotes by Chuck Klosterman
Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.
Chuck Klosterman
If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.
Chuck Klosterman
Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture.
Chuck Klosterman
People who are wrong during particularly important moments inevitably spend the rest of their lives trying to explain how their wrongness was paradoxically correct, or-at the very least-why their wrongness felt right at the time, which is very, very different from being authentically correct.
Chuck Klosterman
I love sports, but I don't like live sporting events, because I don't like sitting in the crowd. I like listening to records, but I don't like going to concerts, because I don't like standing in the crowd. I guess I just don't like being in the crowd itself.
Chuck Klosterman
This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go.
Chuck Klosterman
Let's face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film realistic, everyone knows what that means--it means the movie has an unhappy ending.
Chuck Klosterman
I think anyone who's not as good a writer as me is absolutely a hack, and I think anybody who's a slightly better writer than me is brilliant. So of course that makes me a horrible critic when it comes to books, because I can't distance my own experience from what I'm doing.
Chuck Klosterman
I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.
Chuck Klosterman
Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste they use is internal, and says more about them than about the record they're writing about.
Chuck Klosterman
When I'm walking around, I'm usually drinking pop, so I can't have a mask on. That's why I couldn't be a surgeon.
Chuck Klosterman
I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story.
Chuck Klosterman
I almost never get lonely. I love being alone. I'm glad I'm married, and I love my wife. But there's never been a situation in my life where my unhappiness was based on loneliness.
Chuck Klosterman
Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.
Chuck Klosterman
What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?
Chuck Klosterman
I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they're all so envious of it.
Chuck Klosterman
I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it's based on is whether it's good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and trying to rewrite it.
Chuck Klosterman
And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.
Chuck Klosterman
Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they're not- even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian- it's only a matter of time.
Chuck Klosterman
The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
Chuck Klosterman
