Quote

If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
People
Face
Breaks
Faces
Cream
Someone
Ice
Seems
Relevant
Many
Seriously
Heart
Obvious
Think
Break
Punch
Thinking
Sure
Amazed

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it's based on is whether it's good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and trying to rewrite it.
Chuck Klosterman
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A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.
Chuck Klosterman
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I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.
Chuck Klosterman
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I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story.
Chuck Klosterman
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I don't go to scary movies. I don't like the experience of being scared. I think it's very weird that some people do. Obviously, humans are the only animals that do that. You don't see a wolf walk to the end of a cliff and look over the edge to freak himself out.
Chuck Klosterman
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In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.
Chuck Klosterman
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We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live.
Chuck Klosterman
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The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
Chuck Klosterman
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Sure there's a percentage of people who are like, It snowed in May. I don't believe in climate change. Well, that's crazy, but that's always gonna be the case. I suppose if climate change happens much faster than even the dire experts predict, then I suppose opinions will change.
Chuck Klosterman
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Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.
Chuck Klosterman
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Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from everything, all the time, always.
Chuck Klosterman
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We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.
Chuck Klosterman
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We’re all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I’m concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
Chuck Klosterman
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The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it the only people who insist the Internet is wonderful are those who need it to give their life meaning.
Chuck Klosterman
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It was the kind of love you can only feel toward someone you don't actually know.
Chuck Klosterman
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Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.
Chuck Klosterman
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You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.
Chuck Klosterman
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If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is that it's just moving away from the state that they are comfortable with or used to. It's understandable why someone would feel that way.
Chuck Klosterman
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Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
Chuck Klosterman