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Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Booze
Pass
Greatest
Rich
Poor
Way
Drunks
Equalizer

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It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.
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If I basically view criticism as sort of an interesting form of writing about oneself, an interesting form of autobiography, then I don't feel any pressure to have any kind of authoritative, universal voice. That kind of thing has never interested me.
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Maybe I could survive in one of those resort prisons where they house white-collar criminals. I've always wanted to get better at tennis.
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And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
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If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.
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In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.
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I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.
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I think anyone who's not as good a writer as me is absolutely a hack, and I think anybody who's a slightly better writer than me is brilliant. So of course that makes me a horrible critic when it comes to books, because I can't distance my own experience from what I'm doing.
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I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.
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Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
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It has always been my belief that people are remembered for the sum of their accomplishments but defined by their singular failure.
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Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.
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I hate the point where you have to get off the ladder, or get back on. I don't know if that's a fear of heights, or literally a fear of falling. I want to be afraid to fall. That seems like a good fear.
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I really hate being sick. It seems inevitable that at one point, one of these predicted epidemics is going to be real. So often they come up, and there's people like me that are freaked out, and the majority of people are just like, You're being idiots, this happens every other year.
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Life is rarely about what happened it's mostly about what we think happened.
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I tend to equate sadness with intelligence.
Chuck Klosterman
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I'm good at being by myself. I guess if you're a writer you get used to that.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.
Chuck Klosterman
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...I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as the sport of the future since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come.
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I write pretty fast, probably faster than most people. But I might think about something for six hours, then write it in 20 minutes. So did I write for six hours and 20 minutes, or just 20 minutes? I used to write absolutely every day, except for days when I had to travel or something.
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