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That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Apples
Compare
Fruit
Ground
Like
Sloths
Comparing
Sloth

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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It is very easy for me to imagine in 200 years, people looking back at chemotherapy as proof that people of the 20th century were insane and just morons.
Chuck Klosterman
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Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.
Chuck Klosterman
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I almost never get lonely. I love being alone. I'm glad I'm married, and I love my wife. But there's never been a situation in my life where my unhappiness was based on loneliness.
Chuck Klosterman
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Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.
Chuck Klosterman
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To me, fear of the future means fear of technology. I have a little bit of that. I still use it, but I kind of see technology as this harmful thing that's so ingrained in my life that it sort of dictates and controls my relationship with it.
Chuck Klosterman
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-- and it occurred to me that people who don't talk about themselves are limiting their own potential. They think they're guarding themselves for some sort of abstract dange, but they're actually allowing other people to decide who they are and what they're like.
Chuck Klosterman
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If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is that it's just moving away from the state that they are comfortable with or used to. It's understandable why someone would feel that way.
Chuck Klosterman
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Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.
Chuck Klosterman
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If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.
Chuck Klosterman
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Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.
Chuck Klosterman
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Let's face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film realistic, everyone knows what that means--it means the movie has an unhappy ending.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
Chuck Klosterman
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The things he did on purpose were usually no different from the mistakes he made by accident.
Chuck Klosterman
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I think anyone who's not as good a writer as me is absolutely a hack, and I think anybody who's a slightly better writer than me is brilliant. So of course that makes me a horrible critic when it comes to books, because I can't distance my own experience from what I'm doing.
Chuck Klosterman
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If I basically view criticism as sort of an interesting form of writing about oneself, an interesting form of autobiography, then I don't feel any pressure to have any kind of authoritative, universal voice. That kind of thing has never interested me.
Chuck Klosterman
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The essays are different because ultimately it's things I'm interested in, and I'm really just writing about myself and using those subjects as a prism.
Chuck Klosterman
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The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
Chuck Klosterman
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I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have cable and only limited radio stations, so I wasn't inundated with culture the way people in other parts of the country were. But I was really interested in it.
Chuck Klosterman
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Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.
Chuck Klosterman
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I really hate being sick. It seems inevitable that at one point, one of these predicted epidemics is going to be real. So often they come up, and there's people like me that are freaked out, and the majority of people are just like, You're being idiots, this happens every other year.
Chuck Klosterman