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Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable impracticality almost seems cool.
Chuck Klosterman
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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Become
Acceptable
Seems
Comparison
Live
Fake
Real
Totally
Trying
Cool
Every
Becomes
Like
Almost
Impractical
People
Less
Actively
More quotes by Chuck Klosterman
A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.
Chuck Klosterman
In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.
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I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.
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Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?
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If you’re the type of person who wants to associate exclusively with those who perfectly mirror your own ethical worldview, you’re reducing significantly the scope of your potential life experience.
Chuck Klosterman
What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?
Chuck Klosterman
When I'm walking around, I'm usually drinking pop, so I can't have a mask on. That's why I couldn't be a surgeon.
Chuck Klosterman
If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
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Sure there's a percentage of people who are like, It snowed in May. I don't believe in climate change. Well, that's crazy, but that's always gonna be the case. I suppose if climate change happens much faster than even the dire experts predict, then I suppose opinions will change.
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You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.
Chuck Klosterman
Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.
Chuck Klosterman
The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
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If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.
Chuck Klosterman
Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll.
Chuck Klosterman
I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story.
Chuck Klosterman
That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.
Chuck Klosterman
And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.
Chuck Klosterman
If I had to make a choice between only writing about sports or only writing about music, I would probably write about music. I'm not sure why that is. There seems to be more to write about with music, just because it's more of a splintered thing. There's more subgenres. With sports, it's more objective in a way.
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We’re all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I’m concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.
Chuck Klosterman
Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
Chuck Klosterman