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We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Much
Assuming
Time
Weird
People
Aren
Pretty
Inversions
Imagine
Casually
Lying
Mild
Truth
Assume
Must
Statements

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.
Chuck Klosterman
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I almost never get lonely. I love being alone. I'm glad I'm married, and I love my wife. But there's never been a situation in my life where my unhappiness was based on loneliness.
Chuck Klosterman
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Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.
Chuck Klosterman
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If I'm around spiders, my fear isn't so much the spider, but my fear is that I'm somewhere rustic and that spiders are crawling around. I must be in the woods.
Chuck Klosterman
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Nine Inch Nails were the best and most popular industrial band of all time as a consequence, industrial purists usually assert that Nine Inch Nails aren't an industrial band at all (this is a counterintuitive phenomenon that tends to occur with purists from all subcultures, musical or otherwise).
Chuck Klosterman
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It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.
Chuck Klosterman
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We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live.
Chuck Klosterman
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The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it the only people who insist the Internet is wonderful are those who need it to give their life meaning.
Chuck Klosterman
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I hate the point where you have to get off the ladder, or get back on. I don't know if that's a fear of heights, or literally a fear of falling. I want to be afraid to fall. That seems like a good fear.
Chuck Klosterman
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If I basically view criticism as sort of an interesting form of writing about oneself, an interesting form of autobiography, then I don't feel any pressure to have any kind of authoritative, universal voice. That kind of thing has never interested me.
Chuck Klosterman
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Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable impracticality almost seems cool.
Chuck Klosterman
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To me, fear of the future means fear of technology. I have a little bit of that. I still use it, but I kind of see technology as this harmful thing that's so ingrained in my life that it sort of dictates and controls my relationship with it.
Chuck Klosterman
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Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
Chuck Klosterman
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And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
Chuck Klosterman
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And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.
Chuck Klosterman
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I really hate being sick. It seems inevitable that at one point, one of these predicted epidemics is going to be real. So often they come up, and there's people like me that are freaked out, and the majority of people are just like, You're being idiots, this happens every other year.
Chuck Klosterman
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The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.
Chuck Klosterman
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I write pretty fast, probably faster than most people. But I might think about something for six hours, then write it in 20 minutes. So did I write for six hours and 20 minutes, or just 20 minutes? I used to write absolutely every day, except for days when I had to travel or something.
Chuck Klosterman
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Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and that makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawnmowers, cats, the Denver Broncos, et cetera). They don't see the big picture.
Chuck Klosterman
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Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?
Chuck Klosterman