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...I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as the sport of the future since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Games
Fifteen
Lasts
Soccer
Last
Sport
Future
Spent
Come
Exercise
Lauded
Years
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Dystopia
Never
Sports
Railing
Life
Since
Thankfully

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Because I'm 44, I feel kind of lucky that I lived through this period where I started my career where there was no Internet at all, and now when I finish it, there will be nothing but the Internet.
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Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn't get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
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If you play I Don't Want To Know by Fleetwood Mac loud enough -- you can hear Lindsey Buckingham's fingers sliding down the strings of his acoustic guitar. ...And we were convinced that this was the definitive illustration of what we both loved about music we loved hearing the INSIDE of a song.
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Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.
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What's kind of happening is the conflict over football might be a class conflict where there is a percentage of people who have no relationship to physicality and a percentage of the populace who still does.
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Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.
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It's peculiar what you remember when you're not trying.
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Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they're not- even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian- it's only a matter of time.
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I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.
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The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.
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I love sports, but I don't like live sporting events, because I don't like sitting in the crowd. I like listening to records, but I don't like going to concerts, because I don't like standing in the crowd. I guess I just don't like being in the crowd itself.
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And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.
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We are often wrong about the past, but at least with the past you can change your thinking. We can't do that with the future.
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Nine Inch Nails were the best and most popular industrial band of all time as a consequence, industrial purists usually assert that Nine Inch Nails aren't an industrial band at all (this is a counterintuitive phenomenon that tends to occur with purists from all subcultures, musical or otherwise).
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That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.
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First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.
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Technology evolves faster than people do, faster than biology does.
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A lot of people have this strategy where if they have a hard question they wait to ask it to the end of the interview because they think the person is going to walk out. But what they have to realize is, is that if the person walks out, they have a pretty successful story.
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In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.
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Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary. The postmodern mother of invention is desire we don’t really “need” anything new, so we only create what we want.
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