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And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Spilled
Sweater
Gravy
Sweaters
Carolina
Alive

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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I look at camping the same way I look at horror movies. All the years that humans fought to get into caves and into shelters - it almost seems sacrilegious to go outside and sleep without a roof. We work so hard to have these things!
Chuck Klosterman
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Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.
Chuck Klosterman
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I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have cable and only limited radio stations, so I wasn't inundated with culture the way people in other parts of the country were. But I was really interested in it.
Chuck Klosterman
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My mind and gut are never simpatico: Every time I think somebody likes me, she doesn't every time I think somebody doesn't like me, she does. This has never changed and I'm certain it never will.
Chuck Klosterman
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I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.
Chuck Klosterman
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It's possible for me to imagine a generation of people maybe two generations removed from you who might decide that we have an adversarial relationship with technology.
Chuck Klosterman
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If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you play I Don't Want To Know by Fleetwood Mac loud enough -- you can hear Lindsey Buckingham's fingers sliding down the strings of his acoustic guitar. ...And we were convinced that this was the definitive illustration of what we both loved about music we loved hearing the INSIDE of a song.
Chuck Klosterman
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It is very easy for me to imagine in 200 years, people looking back at chemotherapy as proof that people of the 20th century were insane and just morons.
Chuck Klosterman
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And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
Chuck Klosterman
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By now, everyone I know is one of seven strangers, inevitably hoping to represent a predefined demographic and always failing horribly. The Read World is the real world is The Real World is the read world. It’s the same true story, even when it isn’t.
Chuck Klosterman
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Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.
Chuck Klosterman
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It might sound chauvinistic, but there is a sad reality in rock music: Bands who depend on support from females inevitably crash and burn.
Chuck Klosterman
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Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary. The postmodern mother of invention is desire we don’t really “need” anything new, so we only create what we want.
Chuck Klosterman
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I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.
Chuck Klosterman
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The worst thing you can do to anybody trying to be creative is to demand participation in their vision.
Chuck Klosterman
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I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they're all so envious of it.
Chuck Klosterman
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Because I'm 44, I feel kind of lucky that I lived through this period where I started my career where there was no Internet at all, and now when I finish it, there will be nothing but the Internet.
Chuck Klosterman
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Unless you're Shannon Hoon (of Blind Melon), dying is the only thing that guarantees a rock star will have a legacy that stretches beyond temporary relevance.
Chuck Klosterman
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Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.
Chuck Klosterman