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If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Crying
Girlfriend
Drunk
Cry
Rain
Think
Thinking
Zeus
Slept

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The things he did on purpose were usually no different from the mistakes he made by accident.
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To me, fear of the future means fear of technology. I have a little bit of that. I still use it, but I kind of see technology as this harmful thing that's so ingrained in my life that it sort of dictates and controls my relationship with it.
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Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.
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Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from everything, all the time, always.
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We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.
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When given the choice, we’d all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we’ll all be sad later.
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This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go.
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My mind and gut are never simpatico: Every time I think somebody likes me, she doesn't every time I think somebody doesn't like me, she does. This has never changed and I'm certain it never will.
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I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story.
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Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.
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Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.
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Every time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed
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When I'm walking around, I'm usually drinking pop, so I can't have a mask on. That's why I couldn't be a surgeon.
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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.
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The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.
Chuck Klosterman
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And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
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Unless you're Shannon Hoon (of Blind Melon), dying is the only thing that guarantees a rock star will have a legacy that stretches beyond temporary relevance.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.
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If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
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We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.
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