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If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Think
Thinking
Zeus
Slept
Crying
Girlfriend
Drunk
Cry
Rain

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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It's possible for me to imagine a generation of people maybe two generations removed from you who might decide that we have an adversarial relationship with technology.
Chuck Klosterman
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Maybe I could survive in one of those resort prisons where they house white-collar criminals. I've always wanted to get better at tennis.
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Why don't I like crowds? I suppose the worst possible thing I could say is that I don't like people, and that crowds are just collections of people. That seems like a very nihilistic way to look at the world.
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I don't go to scary movies. I don't like the experience of being scared. I think it's very weird that some people do. Obviously, humans are the only animals that do that. You don't see a wolf walk to the end of a cliff and look over the edge to freak himself out.
Chuck Klosterman
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I am ready to be alone.
Chuck Klosterman
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Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.
Chuck Klosterman
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It's peculiar what you remember when you're not trying.
Chuck Klosterman
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Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.
Chuck Klosterman
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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.
Chuck Klosterman
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It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.
Chuck Klosterman
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A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.
Chuck Klosterman
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Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary. The postmodern mother of invention is desire we don’t really “need” anything new, so we only create what we want.
Chuck Klosterman
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Let's face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film realistic, everyone knows what that means--it means the movie has an unhappy ending.
Chuck Klosterman
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If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.
Chuck Klosterman
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The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.
Chuck Klosterman
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The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.
Chuck Klosterman
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If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
Chuck Klosterman
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What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?
Chuck Klosterman
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Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.
Chuck Klosterman
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Every time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed
Chuck Klosterman