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I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they're all so envious of it.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Believe
People
Envious
Authenticity
Despise
Mostly
Honestly
Generation
Generations

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Maybe I could survive in one of those resort prisons where they house white-collar criminals. I've always wanted to get better at tennis.
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I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.
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We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.
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If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.
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If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.
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If someone feels negative about the way society or culture seems to be going, what it probably suggests is that it's just moving away from the state that they are comfortable with or used to. It's understandable why someone would feel that way.
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And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive.
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Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?
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I was fortunate that I was at newspapers for eight years, where I wrote at least five or six stories every week. You get used to interviewing lots of different people about a lot of different things. And they aren't things you know about until you do the story.
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The worst thing you can do to anybody trying to be creative is to demand participation in their vision.
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I look at camping the same way I look at horror movies. All the years that humans fought to get into caves and into shelters - it almost seems sacrilegious to go outside and sleep without a roof. We work so hard to have these things!
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Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.
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I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.
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The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.
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If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.
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I am ready to be alone.
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A lot of people have this strategy where if they have a hard question they wait to ask it to the end of the interview because they think the person is going to walk out. But what they have to realize is, is that if the person walks out, they have a pretty successful story.
Chuck Klosterman
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I'm good at being by myself. I guess if you're a writer you get used to that.
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When given the choice, we’d all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we’ll all be sad later.
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We are often wrong about the past, but at least with the past you can change your thinking. We can't do that with the future.
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