Quote

Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
Making
Pretend
Coffin
Found
Whenever
Coffins
Past
Walking
Corpse
Best
Darkness
Demise
Way
Comfortable
Comments
Like
Imagine
Corpses
People
Sleep
Funeral
Lying
Comment
Assassinated

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.
Chuck Klosterman
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I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.
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I am of the opinion, and have been for a long time, that any kind of big technological move is almost always positive in the short term but inevitably somewhat negative in the long term. And I think there are many examples of this in every possible context.
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In some ways, Halloween is much easier for women. They can just dress as sluts, and it's kind of a costume, if they never do any other time.
Chuck Klosterman
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Being interesting has been replaced by being identifiable.
Chuck Klosterman
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It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.
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Because I'm 44, I feel kind of lucky that I lived through this period where I started my career where there was no Internet at all, and now when I finish it, there will be nothing but the Internet.
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I love sports, but I don't like live sporting events, because I don't like sitting in the crowd. I like listening to records, but I don't like going to concerts, because I don't like standing in the crowd. I guess I just don't like being in the crowd itself.
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Let's face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film realistic, everyone knows what that means--it means the movie has an unhappy ending.
Chuck Klosterman
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Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from everything, all the time, always.
Chuck Klosterman
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We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.
Chuck Klosterman
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People who are wrong during particularly important moments inevitably spend the rest of their lives trying to explain how their wrongness was paradoxically correct, or-at the very least-why their wrongness felt right at the time, which is very, very different from being authentically correct.
Chuck Klosterman
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I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.
Chuck Klosterman
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Every time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed
Chuck Klosterman
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If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.
Chuck Klosterman
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A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.
Chuck Klosterman
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Why don't I like crowds? I suppose the worst possible thing I could say is that I don't like people, and that crowds are just collections of people. That seems like a very nihilistic way to look at the world.
Chuck Klosterman
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Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.
Chuck Klosterman
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Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.
Chuck Klosterman
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Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.
Chuck Klosterman