Quote

Whenever I can’t sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I’ve been assassinated. I’ve found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I’m in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.

Chuck Klosterman

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Chuck Klosterman
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: June 5
Author
Journalist
Music Critic
Breckenridge
Minnesota
Charles John Klosterman
People
Sleep
Funeral
Lying
Comment
Assassinated
Making
Pretend
Coffin
Found
Whenever
Coffins
Past
Walking
Corpse
Best
Darkness
Demise
Way
Comfortable
Comments
Like
Imagine
Corpses

More quotes by Chuck Klosterman

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Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.
Chuck Klosterman
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I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have cable and only limited radio stations, so I wasn't inundated with culture the way people in other parts of the country were. But I was really interested in it.
Chuck Klosterman
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I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.
Chuck Klosterman
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A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.
Chuck Klosterman
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The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
Chuck Klosterman
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I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be almost unable to imagine life without an Internet component interlocked with it.
Chuck Klosterman
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It's possible for me to imagine a generation of people maybe two generations removed from you who might decide that we have an adversarial relationship with technology.
Chuck Klosterman
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I look at camping the same way I look at horror movies. All the years that humans fought to get into caves and into shelters - it almost seems sacrilegious to go outside and sleep without a roof. We work so hard to have these things!
Chuck Klosterman
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I love sports, but I don't like live sporting events, because I don't like sitting in the crowd. I like listening to records, but I don't like going to concerts, because I don't like standing in the crowd. I guess I just don't like being in the crowd itself.
Chuck Klosterman
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Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable impracticality almost seems cool.
Chuck Klosterman
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Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?
Chuck Klosterman
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Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.
Chuck Klosterman
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The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.
Chuck Klosterman
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It is very easy for me to imagine in 200 years, people looking back at chemotherapy as proof that people of the 20th century were insane and just morons.
Chuck Klosterman
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And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
Chuck Klosterman
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That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.
Chuck Klosterman
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It doesn't matter what you can do if you don't know why you're doing it.
Chuck Klosterman
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Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.
Chuck Klosterman
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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.
Chuck Klosterman
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At a magazine, everything you do is edited by a bunch of people, by committee, and a lot of them are, were, or think of themselves as writers. Part of that is because magazines worry about their voice.
Chuck Klosterman