Quote

Thomas Jefferson said, The tree of liberty must be fertilized from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Yeah and I heard that and thought, I'm out!

Christopher Titus

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Christopher Titus
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: October 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Christopher Todd Titus
Jefferson
Heard
Thought
Thomas
Must
Patriot
Time
Tyrants
Yeah
Tree
Fertilized
Blood
Patriots
Liberty

More quotes by Christopher Titus

Image
I am a patriot, and I protest speed limits by exceeding them.
Christopher Titus
Image
I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest. And that's why it feels like we are polarized.
Christopher Titus
Image
Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that. Hey, dude, what are you in for? Armed robbery? Murder? And then, you have to say, Love. And, that's definitely going to get you, you know, picked last for prison kick ball.
Christopher Titus
Image
Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.
Christopher Titus
Image
I love being from a screwed up family. We have everything in my family: prescription drug abuse, mental illness, one of my uncles is a Mormon.
Christopher Titus
Image
How far would you go for someone you love ? I heard this story, about this woman, who actually lifted a car off of her baby. 'Course I would have said, Dude! Back up. But, wasn't my kid. When I was born, if I'd have known all the stuff my dad was going to do for me, I'd have crawled right back in.
Christopher Titus
Image
You don't get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot.
Christopher Titus
Image
I have a dream. With that one sentence, Martin Luther King touched and empowered an entire nation. You know what else he did? He made everybody else without dreams feel real bad.
Christopher Titus
Image
Clint Eastwood doesn't moisturize! But Clint Eastwood needs to moisturize!
Christopher Titus
Image
In a normal family, a surprise means presents, cake and a party. For me ? I had no idea. And my family, doing something nice is seen as an attack. When I was nine, I 'attacked' my father with a fathers day gift. A visor organiser for his car, because it was useful. And it rhymed. Visor. Organiser. I was nine.
Christopher Titus
Image
There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says We've got a family members of yours under arrest and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my *Mom*!
Christopher Titus
Image
I'm glad I was raised by my dad for other reasons, too. There are things you can learn from a father, as a son, that you can never learn from Mom. Special things, important things. Like never challenge Dad to a fist fight.
Christopher Titus
Image
I have been accused of sleeping with people, I hadn't met yet.
Christopher Titus
Image
In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink.
Christopher Titus
Image
Martha Stewart's a convicted felon and they gave her another television show. What's next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?
Christopher Titus
Image
If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend!
Christopher Titus
Image
Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation.
Christopher Titus
Image
Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!
Christopher Titus
Image
The day I'm in England performing, English security let a man in a Batman suit climb Buckingham Palace. I felt so much safer... Batman was on the wall of Buckingham Palace for five hours. Wouldn't happen in America - three minutes: dead Batman.
Christopher Titus
Image
I'm thinking of a presidential bid currently indexing and cross-referencing everyone I've tweeted my junk to. 8x10s available.
Christopher Titus