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This horrible decade where all of us men tried to be individual rebels... by wearing the exact same flaming skull on a bedazzled Ed Hardy thermal. I have three of them, I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing with you.

Christopher Titus

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Christopher Titus
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: October 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Christopher Todd Titus
Tried
Hardy
Laughing
Skulls
Individual
Decade
Three
Exact
Men
Rebel
Thermal
Wearing
Flaming
Decades
Rebels
Horrible
Skull

More quotes by Christopher Titus

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The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick.
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Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet... died a vegetable. That's a damn good joke. But that joke's like a Toyota Camry - reliable, not inspiring.
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Everyone's a racist. It's the one thing that makes us all the same.
Christopher Titus
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My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he said he didn't want people to think he couldn't commit. 'I don't want people not taking me serious.' Dad, your last marriage was performed in Reno by an ordained lesbian Elvis impersonator. Who you hit on.
Christopher Titus
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So what if your custom car shop tanks and you've gotta take a crappy job at an auto parts store, dealing with ignorant, pushy people. I'm okay with that, 'cause I'm an ignorant, pushy people person.
Christopher Titus
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The day I'm in England performing, English security let a man in a Batman suit climb Buckingham Palace. I felt so much safer... Batman was on the wall of Buckingham Palace for five hours. Wouldn't happen in America - three minutes: dead Batman.
Christopher Titus
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My father, never chooses me for anything. If you needed a kidney and I offered him mine, well, pfft. Well, he'd take it 'cos he was dying. It's not that he doesn't love me, 'cos he does. It's just that special kind of love that feels like neglect.
Christopher Titus
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In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink.
Christopher Titus
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My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly.
Christopher Titus
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The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.
Christopher Titus
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I think our collective psychosis is hilarious. With the world moving as fast as it is, if we weren't dysfunctional, we couldn't function.
Christopher Titus
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Every weekend, I would get the drunk driving lecture. Of course, Dad drank and drove all the time. I guess it wasn't a lecture it was helpful tips from the master.
Christopher Titus
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Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.
Christopher Titus
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In a normal family, a surprise means presents, cake and a party. For me ? I had no idea. And my family, doing something nice is seen as an attack. When I was nine, I 'attacked' my father with a fathers day gift. A visor organiser for his car, because it was useful. And it rhymed. Visor. Organiser. I was nine.
Christopher Titus
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I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.
Christopher Titus
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Obama says he's bringing 10,000 troops home. The Republicans are calling it a failed jobs program.
Christopher Titus
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We're looking for answers in a landfill instead of looking to people who bring the light.
Christopher Titus
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I have been accused of sleeping with people, I hadn't met yet.
Christopher Titus
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Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.
Christopher Titus
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If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend!
Christopher Titus