I often tell young people that as a writer you are very powerful, that you can make absolutely anything happen.

No sir, I don't know why, but my eyes don't cry no more.

I'm the same age as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth.

Having a little pee in your pants had to be better than being dinner for some redneck.

Every encounter with a woman must be viewed as a negotiation, ... the difference being instead of coaxing them off rooftops, you're coaxing them into romance. And remember, the negotiator is always in control.

But you just gotta understand that that's the way it is and keep on steppin'.

I try to make the writing as regular and regimented as possible. I usually get up at around 5 a.m. and read what I wrote the day before. Some of the time, after I read, I think the writing's very good and some of the time I feel embarrassed by what I've written. You have to learn not to pay too much attention to these feelings.

I write because I love to. I'm very, very fortunate to have found something that I love doing that also earns my living. But to be honest, I'd write even if I weren't being paid to.

I do think it is important to look at the writing as a job though and to commit to it like you'd have to commit to a regular nine-to-five.

Write for the love of writing and you can't go wrong.

It's great to create a story and then to submit it to your editor and see what her reaction is to it. It's great to have your editor tell what her suggestions and ideas for the story are. It's great to explain to your editor why her ideas and suggestions are bizarre and to ask her why is she trying to ruin my story.

Things aren't ever what they seem to be when you first look at them. What's important is that you keep your mind wide open and try to understand what's going on from a lot of different angles.

There comes a time when you're losing a fight that it just doesn't make sense to keep on fighting. It's not that you're being a quitter, it's just that you've got the sense to know when enough is enough.

...that was Bud Caldwell's Rules and Things to Have a Funner LIfe and Make a Better Liar Out of Yourself Number 83...If a Adult Tells You Not to Worry, and You Weren't Worried Before, You Better Hurry Up and Start 'Cause You're Already Running Late.