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It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
People
Christmas
Good
Time

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It's like time travel only, you know, slower.
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She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
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For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
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Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
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Life is an irritation.
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
Christopher Moore
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It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)
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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
Christopher Moore
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
Christopher Moore