Quote

Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Means
Persuasion
Better
Awkward
Mean
Quick
Time
Serve
Short
Concussion
Fine
Concussions
Purpose
Enchantment
Girl
Seduction

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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
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And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
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I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Life is an irritation.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
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