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He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 68
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Never
Purity
Others
Problem
Always

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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
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Compliment but do not covet.
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Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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Don't bruise the Foo!
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
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And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby
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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
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The medium obscured the message.
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What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
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I think I'm what they call a never-was.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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