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This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Called
Backed
Help
Toilet
Helping
Toilets
Men
Attracted
Thinking
Department
Asking
Weak
Fire

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop.
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
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She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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You're trying to be tricky. What's morality? It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize. Must be a human thing. Exactly.
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Life is an irritation.
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Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.
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For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
Christopher Moore
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
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Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
Christopher Moore