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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Naked
Evil

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
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The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
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If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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Ack! Parables. I hate parables.
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Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
Christopher Moore
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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
Christopher Moore
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
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And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
Christopher Moore
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I've won Satan's lottery.
Christopher Moore
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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
Christopher Moore
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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
Christopher Moore
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
Christopher Moore
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
Christopher Moore
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Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
Christopher Moore