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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Naked
Evil

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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
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The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
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People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
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Routine feeds the illusion of safety.
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Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
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It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
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Hope is merely another face of desire.
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Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
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We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
Christopher Moore
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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
Christopher Moore