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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Shall
Meek
Blessed

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Life is an irritation.
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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People, generally, suck.
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
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You're going to break my heart, aren't you?
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Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.
Christopher Moore
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What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
Christopher Moore
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It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
Christopher Moore
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
Christopher Moore
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The medium obscured the message.
Christopher Moore
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Compliment but do not covet.
Christopher Moore