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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Meek
Blessed
Shall

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I've won Satan's lottery.
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I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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Don't bruise the Foo!
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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Compliment but do not covet.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
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You're trying to be tricky. What's morality? It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize. Must be a human thing. Exactly.
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And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
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