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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore
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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Question
Known
Kung
Jesus
Addressed
Felt
Historically
Important
Accurate
Would
Remain
Needed
Leave
More quotes by Christopher Moore
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
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The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
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This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
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Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
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Hope is merely another face of desire.
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
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Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
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What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
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