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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Problem
Empathize
Supposed
Friend
Problems

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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
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From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
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Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
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I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
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People, generally, suck.
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It's like time travel only, you know, slower.
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
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What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
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Compliment but do not covet.
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The medium obscured the message.
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
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