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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Problem
Empathize
Supposed
Friend
Problems

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An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
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And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby
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The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
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Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
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The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
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. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.
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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
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Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
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I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
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Life is an irritation.
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She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
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