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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Free
Outlets
Bigs
Journal
Stuff
Hey
Someone
Pounds
Abby
Littles
Door
Pounding
Little
Normal
Outlet
Like
Doors
Sale
Started
Pound

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He was a writer and words were his weapons.
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
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This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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You're going to break my heart, aren't you?
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Ack! Parables. I hate parables.
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
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