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I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Right
Mom
Bean
Make
Fronts
Beans
Would
Front
Honey
Time
Stand
Finish
Head
Table
Family
Christmas
Everyone
Tables
Together
Dinner
Flick

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
Christopher Moore
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If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
Christopher Moore
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
Christopher Moore
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She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.
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Hope is merely another face of desire.
Christopher Moore
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
Christopher Moore
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Christopher Moore
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For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
Christopher Moore
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Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
Christopher Moore
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People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
Christopher Moore
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Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.
Christopher Moore
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
Christopher Moore
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Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
Christopher Moore