Quote

I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Make
Fronts
Beans
Would
Front
Honey
Time
Stand
Finish
Head
Table
Family
Christmas
Everyone
Tables
Together
Dinner
Flick
Right
Mom
Bean

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It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
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From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
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I've won Satan's lottery.
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Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
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Chapter 8, Dinner With the Vampire: Is there something wrong with your food? No, I'm just not very hungry. You're going to break my heart, aren't you?
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
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She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
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An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
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Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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