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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Willie
Deaf
Gots

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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
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The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
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Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess
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Compliment but do not covet.
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
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People, generally, suck.
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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
Christopher Moore