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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Odd
Gods
Loneliness
Friendship
Broken
Life
Taunting

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
Christopher Moore
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I've won Satan's lottery.
Christopher Moore
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People, generally, suck.
Christopher Moore
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When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.
Christopher Moore
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The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.
Christopher Moore
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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
Christopher Moore
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Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.
Christopher Moore
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
Christopher Moore
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
Christopher Moore
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
Christopher Moore
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
Christopher Moore
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Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
Christopher Moore
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If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
Christopher Moore
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
Christopher Moore
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
Christopher Moore
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Life is an irritation.
Christopher Moore
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Hope is merely another face of desire.
Christopher Moore
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
Christopher Moore
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
Christopher Moore