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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Killed
Nobody
Guy
Perfect
Wells
Well

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
Christopher Moore
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From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
Christopher Moore
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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
Christopher Moore
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The medium obscured the message.
Christopher Moore
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
Christopher Moore
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An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
Christopher Moore
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Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.
Christopher Moore
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I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
Christopher Moore
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
Christopher Moore
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Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
Christopher Moore
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If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
Christopher Moore
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People, generally, suck.
Christopher Moore
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
Christopher Moore
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
Christopher Moore
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He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
Christopher Moore
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
Christopher Moore
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
Christopher Moore
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And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby
Christopher Moore
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
Christopher Moore