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Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Pissed
Pretty
Eaten
Brain
Brains
Wells
Hungry
Well
Seemed
Thing
Busy
Trying
Guess
Ikea
Going
Adamant
Kind
Eating

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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
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If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
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For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
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Don't bruise the Foo!
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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