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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
Christopher Moore
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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Needs
Baby
Trying
Drink
Spanked
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Blood
Spank
Called
Babies
Names
Call
Scream
Littles
Tied
Little
Ties
More quotes by Christopher Moore
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
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Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
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The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
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Routine feeds the illusion of safety.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
Christopher Moore
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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You're going to break my heart, aren't you?
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
Christopher Moore
This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
Christopher Moore
Hope is merely another face of desire.
Christopher Moore
Life is an irritation.
Christopher Moore
