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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Life
Crackers
Cheese
Glorious
Experience
Wanted

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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
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People, generally, suck.
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
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Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
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Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
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I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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Hope is merely another face of desire.
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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
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He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
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Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess
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It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Christopher Moore