Quote

She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Anything
Aliens
Really
Machine
Machines
Species
Eating
Pooping
Sort
Tantrum
Understand
Tantrums
Didn
Alien

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
Christopher Moore
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
Christopher Moore
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Christopher Moore
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
Christopher Moore
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What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
Christopher Moore
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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
Christopher Moore
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
Christopher Moore
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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore
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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
Christopher Moore
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
Christopher Moore
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It's like time travel only, you know, slower.
Christopher Moore
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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
Christopher Moore
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
Christopher Moore
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
Christopher Moore
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
Christopher Moore
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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
Christopher Moore