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I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Whores
Intelligence
Seen
Crotch
Harem
Lice

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
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I've won Satan's lottery.
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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
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Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
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People, generally, suck.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
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She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.
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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
Christopher Moore
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
Christopher Moore
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
Christopher Moore
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
Christopher Moore