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I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Lice
Whores
Intelligence
Seen
Crotch
Harem

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.
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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
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The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
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She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
Christopher Moore
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Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess
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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
Christopher Moore
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
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People, generally, suck.
Christopher Moore
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
Christopher Moore
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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It's about average for us. Behavior always draws more than survey. We're the sexy ones,' Nate said with a grin. Amy snorted. 'Oh, yeah, you guys are the Mae Wests of the nerd world.' We're action nerds,' Nate said. 'Adventure nerds. Nerds of romance.
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
Christopher Moore
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
Christopher Moore
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
Christopher Moore
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I think I'm what they call a never-was.
Christopher Moore