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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Contains
Small
Evil
Much

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Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
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The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
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Don't bruise the Foo!
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Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
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I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
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If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
Christopher Moore
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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