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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Even
Dropping
Something
Watched
Parts
Lepers
Television
Leper
Probably
Refer
Call
Challenged
Feelings
Spare
Enough
Spares

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
Christopher Moore
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People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
Christopher Moore
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Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
Christopher Moore
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We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.
Christopher Moore
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Christopher Moore
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
Christopher Moore
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Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
Christopher Moore
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She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.
Christopher Moore
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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
Christopher Moore
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Christopher Moore
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
Christopher Moore
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Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
Christopher Moore
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Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
Christopher Moore
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
Christopher Moore
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Don't bruise the Foo!
Christopher Moore
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
Christopher Moore
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
Christopher Moore
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When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.
Christopher Moore
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I've won Satan's lottery.
Christopher Moore