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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Television
Leper
Probably
Refer
Call
Challenged
Spare
Feelings
Spares
Enough
Dropping
Even
Watched
Something
Parts
Lepers

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Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
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You're going to break my heart, aren't you?
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Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
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It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
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I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
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This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
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I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't find anything. So it's a wide-open field.
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Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
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It's like time travel only, you know, slower.
Christopher Moore