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. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.
Christopher Moore
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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Directions
Something
Charlie
Upset
Okay
Seem
Beaver
Wrong
Beavers
Unsettling
Seems
Mute
Take
More quotes by Christopher Moore
That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
Christopher Moore
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
Christopher Moore
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
Christopher Moore
It's like time travel only, you know, slower.
Christopher Moore
Routine feeds the illusion of safety.
Christopher Moore
The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.
Christopher Moore
Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
Christopher Moore
Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
Christopher Moore
... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore
Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
Christopher Moore
I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
Christopher Moore
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Christopher Moore
I think I'm what they call a never-was.
Christopher Moore
Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
Christopher Moore
Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.
Christopher Moore
The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
Christopher Moore
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
Christopher Moore
They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
Christopher Moore
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
Christopher Moore
The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
Christopher Moore
