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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Guy
Translated
Means
Kick
Mean
Kicks
Invented
English
Method
Guys
Kung
Short
Bald

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Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
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I think I'm what they call a never-was.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
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And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
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You're trying to be tricky. What's morality? It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize. Must be a human thing. Exactly.
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
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The medium obscured the message.
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
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An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
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Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
Christopher Moore
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One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.
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Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
Christopher Moore
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Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
Christopher Moore