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Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Parents
Havoc
Ones
Hates
Parent
Charlie
Everybody
Department
Hate
Stores
Kids
Beat
Love
Ridiculous
People
Beats
Wreak

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She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
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Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop.
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It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.
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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.
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Compliment but do not covet.
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Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
Christopher Moore
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All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
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...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Christopher Moore
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If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
Christopher Moore
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Routine feeds the illusion of safety.
Christopher Moore
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
Christopher Moore
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Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
Christopher Moore
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The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.
Christopher Moore
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I think I'm what they call a never-was.
Christopher Moore
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She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
Christopher Moore
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Life is an irritation.
Christopher Moore
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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
Christopher Moore
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
Christopher Moore