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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
Christopher Moore
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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Toasters
Badass
Unlike
Darkness
Control
Toaster
More quotes by Christopher Moore
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
Christopher Moore
Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
Christopher Moore
Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
Christopher Moore
The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
Christopher Moore
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
Christopher Moore
Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
Christopher Moore
I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together and make me finish in front of everyone.
Christopher Moore
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
Christopher Moore
He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
Christopher Moore
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Christopher Moore
An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
Christopher Moore
The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
Christopher Moore
What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?
Christopher Moore
Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say attaboy.
Christopher Moore
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
Christopher Moore
Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy
Christopher Moore
The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.
Christopher Moore
The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
Christopher Moore
...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Christopher Moore
Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
Christopher Moore