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It's like time travel only, you know, slower.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Slower
Travel
Time
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The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
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When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.
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She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
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People, generally, suck.
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Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
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Children see magic because they look for it.
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Ack! Parables. I hate parables.
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I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
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He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
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And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
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This Roberto. He no like the light.
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
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Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
Christopher Moore
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... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
Christopher Moore