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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.

Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Assistant Director
Journalist
Novelist
Radio Dj
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Toledo
Ohio
Invitation
Vampires
Invitations
Cop
Vampire
Enter
Law
Cops

More quotes by Christopher Moore

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It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
Christopher Moore
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He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
Christopher Moore
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It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)
Christopher Moore
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The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
Christopher Moore
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Life is an irritation.
Christopher Moore
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And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby
Christopher Moore
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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little Hey, what's up? pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
Christopher Moore
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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
Christopher Moore
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Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
Christopher Moore
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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need
Christopher Moore
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You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.
Christopher Moore
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
Christopher Moore
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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
Christopher Moore
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
Christopher Moore
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The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
Christopher Moore
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Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
Christopher Moore
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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.
Christopher Moore
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That's the scary thing about hope, she said. If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
Christopher Moore
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Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
Christopher Moore
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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
Christopher Moore