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Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable.

Christian Finnegan

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Christian Finnegan
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: April 1
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Albany
New York
Fletcher Christian Finnegan
Wanted
Cable
First
Album
Even
Comedian
Thing
Hour
Always
Special
Growing
Hours
Dream

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Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
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If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.
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I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.
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If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.
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The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
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I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.
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I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.
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I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.
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Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.
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I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.
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There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.
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I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
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Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
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I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
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You know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school.
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Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
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There's something so awesome about being able to get up in front of a microphone and do exactly what you want. Stand-up is as close as you're ever going to get to being 100 percent in control of a situation artistically, and I don't understand why people wouldn't want to keep doing that.
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America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.
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If the right opportunity came along, maybe, but I'm more focused on trying to create a TV show where I can be myself, rather than playing a wacky neighbor. Although, I would gladly play a wacky neighbor of any sort.
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Do me a favor, guys. Don't drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we're talking about every dude knows.
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