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I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.

Christian Finnegan

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Christian Finnegan
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: April 1
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Albany
New York
Fletcher Christian Finnegan
Like
Whoopi
Goldberg
Says
Speak
America
Nothing
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Christian Finnegan

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Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.
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I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, Well, I could always go back to law school.
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I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
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Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
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I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.
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Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.
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Do me a favor, guys. Don't drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we're talking about every dude knows.
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There's something so awesome about being able to get up in front of a microphone and do exactly what you want. Stand-up is as close as you're ever going to get to being 100 percent in control of a situation artistically, and I don't understand why people wouldn't want to keep doing that.
Christian Finnegan
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I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.
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Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable.
Christian Finnegan
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There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.
Christian Finnegan
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Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.
Christian Finnegan
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America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.
Christian Finnegan
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Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
Christian Finnegan
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If the right opportunity came along, maybe, but I'm more focused on trying to create a TV show where I can be myself, rather than playing a wacky neighbor. Although, I would gladly play a wacky neighbor of any sort.
Christian Finnegan
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I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.
Christian Finnegan
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Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.
Christian Finnegan
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The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
Christian Finnegan
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If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.
Christian Finnegan
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I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
Christian Finnegan